Maybe Washington wouldn't be so bad

I've been studying for finals for what seems to be going on several weeks, but is sadly only a few days. I have two finals left before I get a month off. *Sigh* I'm ready for Christmas but I am also really enjoying this time till then because it is wonderful and I feel a bit sad when Christmas is over.

I keep thinking about moving to Washington. That is the only nibble we've got as far as Nick getting a job and I can only hope that something happens to keep us in Colorado. However, when I think about it, Washington can't be that bad, right? I mean I would be a plane ride away from my family but maybe it's what I need. Up until a year ago, my mommy still woke me up :) (Thank you, iphone alarm) But I'm a big girl now and I think that moving may be a good thing. When I think about it, moving to another house may be sufficient, but as of now, our options don't include moving houses.

We're looking for another puppy but Nick and I had a long discussion last night about the possibility to love another doggy like we loved our Cai-Bear. In all honesty, she wasn't a dog, she was aourdaughter, a vital part of our life and I feel like my life has changed without her. For several months after her passing, I was a total grump. Occasionally I find myself short and snappy but then I remember back to having her and I am able to center myself again. I miss her like crazy and dream about her every night. My parents keep encouraging us to get another one but with Nick looking for a job, student loans WAY over our expectations and the crazyness of life; money is short. My parents have offered to help and as thankful as we are for that, we still owe them for their contributions with Caia.

I trust that all will work out. Nick graduates on the 18th and I can honestly not believe it. I never thought I'd see this day. It has been a long 4 years but he has given it his all and I am so proud of him. I must interject here as he just sent me a text saying a kid in his class just asked if he was from Minnesota because of his accent. Accent? I think not. If anything, he carries a Boston accent, which is self induced as a die hard Red Sox fan.

I guess it is these silly moments that keep things real. I don't always appreciate them as I should, but God has a way of slipping in silent smiles in our every day lives.

I'm getting better at writing. I find it to be very theraputic.
-D

Bad Day

Today I was in a car accident - luckly it wasn't bad at all, I need a new bumper because its cracked in a little spot that should only run around $100, contrary to the $500 to $1000 we originally thought. I am thankful my dad can do just about anything on a car - or come to think of it, he can do just about anything, period.

The lady I hit was not in any pain at that moment but has a bad neck and back so she was going to let me know if she felt bad tomorrow. I've been praying for her. She was really sweet.

Okay- I'll stop "b.s.ing"... I'm lost. My confidence is gone, my self worth is lost and I am really down in the dumps - below the dumps, if that's possible. I turned to God today and He gave me the best sign I could have ever received. On my way home from the accident, I asked God to give me a sign and so I turned it to K Love (91.1 fm) and the song Words I Would Say by Sidewalk Prophets was playing.

Part of the lyrics are:
Be strong in the Lord and never give up hope
You're going to do great things, I already know
God's got His hand on you, so don't live in fear
Forgive and forget but don't forget why you're here
Take your time and pray

To be honest - these words spoke to my heart and are exactly what I needed to hear. When everything first happened, I questioned why I was trying so hard to be a good person by adoping children for Christmas and always putting other people first, etc, etc, etc but then I heard this song and I realized that this is just a test and I need to endure it.

On another note - Nick might get a job in Washington state and I don't even know where to begin with that.

Things were much easier when I was a child - can I please go back?

Have a good weekend. And remember, 'never give up hope.'