I've been studying for finals for what seems to be going on several weeks, but is sadly only a few days. I have two finals left before I get a month off. *Sigh* I'm ready for Christmas but I am also really enjoying this time till then because it is wonderful and I feel a bit sad when Christmas is over.
I keep thinking about moving to Washington. That is the only nibble we've got as far as Nick getting a job and I can only hope that something happens to keep us in Colorado. However, when I think about it, Washington can't be that bad, right? I mean I would be a plane ride away from my family but maybe it's what I need. Up until a year ago, my mommy still woke me up :) (Thank you, iphone alarm) But I'm a big girl now and I think that moving may be a good thing. When I think about it, moving to another house may be sufficient, but as of now, our options don't include moving houses.
We're looking for another puppy but Nick and I had a long discussion last night about the possibility to love another doggy like we loved our Cai-Bear. In all honesty, she wasn't a dog, she was aourdaughter, a vital part of our life and I feel like my life has changed without her. For several months after her passing, I was a total grump. Occasionally I find myself short and snappy but then I remember back to having her and I am able to center myself again. I miss her like crazy and dream about her every night. My parents keep encouraging us to get another one but with Nick looking for a job, student loans WAY over our expectations and the crazyness of life; money is short. My parents have offered to help and as thankful as we are for that, we still owe them for their contributions with Caia.
I trust that all will work out. Nick graduates on the 18th and I can honestly not believe it. I never thought I'd see this day. It has been a long 4 years but he has given it his all and I am so proud of him. I must interject here as he just sent me a text saying a kid in his class just asked if he was from Minnesota because of his accent. Accent? I think not. If anything, he carries a Boston accent, which is self induced as a die hard Red Sox fan.
I guess it is these silly moments that keep things real. I don't always appreciate them as I should, but God has a way of slipping in silent smiles in our every day lives.
I'm getting better at writing. I find it to be very theraputic.
-D
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Friday, December 4, 2009
Bad Day
Today I was in a car accident - luckly it wasn't bad at all, I need a new bumper because its cracked in a little spot that should only run around $100, contrary to the $500 to $1000 we originally thought. I am thankful my dad can do just about anything on a car - or come to think of it, he can do just about anything, period.
The lady I hit was not in any pain at that moment but has a bad neck and back so she was going to let me know if she felt bad tomorrow. I've been praying for her. She was really sweet.
Okay- I'll stop "b.s.ing"... I'm lost. My confidence is gone, my self worth is lost and I am really down in the dumps - below the dumps, if that's possible. I turned to God today and He gave me the best sign I could have ever received. On my way home from the accident, I asked God to give me a sign and so I turned it to K Love (91.1 fm) and the song Words I Would Say by Sidewalk Prophets was playing.
Part of the lyrics are:
Be strong in the Lord and never give up hope
You're going to do great things, I already know
God's got His hand on you, so don't live in fear
Forgive and forget but don't forget why you're here
Take your time and pray
To be honest - these words spoke to my heart and are exactly what I needed to hear. When everything first happened, I questioned why I was trying so hard to be a good person by adoping children for Christmas and always putting other people first, etc, etc, etc but then I heard this song and I realized that this is just a test and I need to endure it.
On another note - Nick might get a job in Washington state and I don't even know where to begin with that.
Things were much easier when I was a child - can I please go back?
Have a good weekend. And remember, 'never give up hope.'
The lady I hit was not in any pain at that moment but has a bad neck and back so she was going to let me know if she felt bad tomorrow. I've been praying for her. She was really sweet.
Okay- I'll stop "b.s.ing"... I'm lost. My confidence is gone, my self worth is lost and I am really down in the dumps - below the dumps, if that's possible. I turned to God today and He gave me the best sign I could have ever received. On my way home from the accident, I asked God to give me a sign and so I turned it to K Love (91.1 fm) and the song Words I Would Say by Sidewalk Prophets was playing.
Part of the lyrics are:
Be strong in the Lord and never give up hope
You're going to do great things, I already know
God's got His hand on you, so don't live in fear
Forgive and forget but don't forget why you're here
Take your time and pray
To be honest - these words spoke to my heart and are exactly what I needed to hear. When everything first happened, I questioned why I was trying so hard to be a good person by adoping children for Christmas and always putting other people first, etc, etc, etc but then I heard this song and I realized that this is just a test and I need to endure it.
On another note - Nick might get a job in Washington state and I don't even know where to begin with that.
Things were much easier when I was a child - can I please go back?
Have a good weekend. And remember, 'never give up hope.'
Friday, November 27, 2009
Great Weekend
As I sit down to type this, I think back on this week. It has been excellent. Nick and I have house sat this week and its been so great. It's like we're finally living together. He's asleep upstairs and I'm waiting for a load in the washer to finish so I can put it in the dryer. This is the life I've always wanted, except I would like a ring on my finger and a marriage license in the file cabnet to make things right with the Man Upstairs. But truthfully, my life is perfect - Although we're missing one "barking" aspect of our lives, that I hope to be filled by February. Things are well and I am grateful to God for this opportunity. I recently tithed quite a large amount of money and since then, He's really taken care of my finances. I trust in Him and believe that allHe has in mind for me is the right way.
I'm thankful for my mommy:
Today my mom and I got up at 3:15, left the house at 3:45, drove to Kohls and then Target. This is something that my mom and I have done for years and I hope we continue this tradition for many years to come. It is the one time in the year that I get my mommy to myself - no sister to share her with, and no distractions; except the crazy shoppers who grab stuff out of our buggies, etc.
The washier just buzzed so I better go put it in the dryer and join my prince in bed, afterall, I have been up almost 17 consecutive hours. :)
I'm thankful for my mommy:
Today my mom and I got up at 3:15, left the house at 3:45, drove to Kohls and then Target. This is something that my mom and I have done for years and I hope we continue this tradition for many years to come. It is the one time in the year that I get my mommy to myself - no sister to share her with, and no distractions; except the crazy shoppers who grab stuff out of our buggies, etc.
The washier just buzzed so I better go put it in the dryer and join my prince in bed, afterall, I have been up almost 17 consecutive hours. :)
Sunday, November 22, 2009
All great things must come to an end
Today was my last day at the Church. I already miss the kids. It will be so weird not having to go to work next Sunday. I've prayed for many weeks before finally making my decision and God showed me that I was really spread thin and the future was only going to prove to hold more "thin-ness". I was thanked by many great people and I will truly miss them.
On another note, Nick can't seem to stay out of trouble - or pain. Last night we were stuck in a muddy mess in Greeley and while he was digging through a pile of wood to get some to put under our tire and the pack of wood he was going through fell right on his right hand and crunched it. He didn't break it but it is SO swollen and really cut up. He has a test tomorrow and I hope it goes well for him.
I really stink at blogging regularly - but hopefully I can be better - Did I say that last time? :)
On another note, Nick can't seem to stay out of trouble - or pain. Last night we were stuck in a muddy mess in Greeley and while he was digging through a pile of wood to get some to put under our tire and the pack of wood he was going through fell right on his right hand and crunched it. He didn't break it but it is SO swollen and really cut up. He has a test tomorrow and I hope it goes well for him.
I really stink at blogging regularly - but hopefully I can be better - Did I say that last time? :)
Monday, August 10, 2009
Lake Powell
We went to Lake Powell (in Utah) in the beginning of July and I am finally getting all the pictures put in one centralized place. Lake Powell is my favorite place in the whole world. I've gone every year of my life - sometimes more than once. This year we had 17 people on our 72' houseboat. The houseboat is like a house - it has 3 TV's, an ice maker (that could be a washer and drier), a trash compacter, stove, oven, mircowave, 2 fridges, 2 bathrooms, 3 bedrooms etc, etc, etc. Its nice, to say the least. Of the 17 people that went, 11 were "kids" ranging from 9 to 22 years old. We went with both my aunts, my dad's sister and my mom's sister and both their families. Each person has their own favorite thing to do - But my favorite thing to do is fish! I love to catch striped bass - striper fishing is the best fishing I've ever done and I look forward to it each time we're there. 
The two boys on the left are my counsins, Chris and Greg. They've come to Lake Powell with us most every time we go and I love when they come. It's so much fun since we're all around the same age. (Ps. Go Redsox! - you can't really see it, but Nick and I are wearing B-town hats)
Kayla, in the middle of Nick and I, is my little twin. We look relatively identical - especially when we were young. Compare her 18 month picture to mine and you can't tell who is who. What makes it even "weirder" is that her and her sister are adopted into our family. 
Chris, Jess, me and Greg enjoying the time at Lake Powell - I may not have many friends, but I have a family that would do anything for me, and for that, I'm grateful.
Haha - We were playing around one night taking pictures and my sister took this one of me.
Long story short, Nick fought this fish for, I kid you not, 35 minutes. It would not come to the surface and he was only using 6lb test and didn't want it to break his line so he took his time. When it got to the surface, Nick was less than impressed that it was just like the others we were catching. I felt really bad for him because he had such high hopes for a lunker.
I'm so glad Nick comes with us. I can't imagine being away from him for a week. He didn't go the first year we were together because we'd only been together a few months but he's gone every year since and its so much fun when he comes - he tends to lighten even the lightest of moods.
This is on the top of our houseboat - we got a terrible rain storm the day we came back into the dock. We pulled in and not 5 minutes later, it started to down pour. If we were caught out in the lake in this, it would have been pretty scary but the Man Upstairs was watching us this day. So we decided to test fate and slide on our feet and tummy across the SLIPPERY top deck. Of course Nick was the one who thought of it, and the one who got hurt - messed up his already bad knee really bad but it was tons of fun. Oh - and when the rain let up, we grabbed the hose and squirted it down again!
This is one of my favorite pictures of Nick - his smile is so genuine. Everyone else went out in the little boats to play out in the open water and Nick and I stayed back on the houseboat. We fished for small mouth bass and Nick caught 7 in 30 minutes. I loved seeing his excitement each time he caught a fish and it was just a super day for us.
This is a somber moment - we were getting ready to take up the anchors and head back to the dock. It was a great trip but I wish we could have stayed longer. (L to R: Nick, Me, Jess (sister) mom, dad)
Group picture before we headed out. All 17 of us.
The two boys on the left are my counsins, Chris and Greg. They've come to Lake Powell with us most every time we go and I love when they come. It's so much fun since we're all around the same age. (Ps. Go Redsox! - you can't really see it, but Nick and I are wearing B-town hats)
Kayla, in the middle of Nick and I, is my little twin. We look relatively identical - especially when we were young. Compare her 18 month picture to mine and you can't tell who is who. What makes it even "weirder" is that her and her sister are adopted into our family.
Chris, Jess, me and Greg enjoying the time at Lake Powell - I may not have many friends, but I have a family that would do anything for me, and for that, I'm grateful.
Haha - We were playing around one night taking pictures and my sister took this one of me.
Long story short, Nick fought this fish for, I kid you not, 35 minutes. It would not come to the surface and he was only using 6lb test and didn't want it to break his line so he took his time. When it got to the surface, Nick was less than impressed that it was just like the others we were catching. I felt really bad for him because he had such high hopes for a lunker.
I'm so glad Nick comes with us. I can't imagine being away from him for a week. He didn't go the first year we were together because we'd only been together a few months but he's gone every year since and its so much fun when he comes - he tends to lighten even the lightest of moods.
This is on the top of our houseboat - we got a terrible rain storm the day we came back into the dock. We pulled in and not 5 minutes later, it started to down pour. If we were caught out in the lake in this, it would have been pretty scary but the Man Upstairs was watching us this day. So we decided to test fate and slide on our feet and tummy across the SLIPPERY top deck. Of course Nick was the one who thought of it, and the one who got hurt - messed up his already bad knee really bad but it was tons of fun. Oh - and when the rain let up, we grabbed the hose and squirted it down again!
This is one of my favorite pictures of Nick - his smile is so genuine. Everyone else went out in the little boats to play out in the open water and Nick and I stayed back on the houseboat. We fished for small mouth bass and Nick caught 7 in 30 minutes. I loved seeing his excitement each time he caught a fish and it was just a super day for us.
This is a somber moment - we were getting ready to take up the anchors and head back to the dock. It was a great trip but I wish we could have stayed longer. (L to R: Nick, Me, Jess (sister) mom, dad)
Group picture before we headed out. All 17 of us. This was the best trip, thus far. I can't wait for next year!!
Thanking God
Even though some aspects of my life are a little grey right now, I do have so much to be thankful for. (I feel like I'm starting off my speech for Thanksgiving :])
Even though school is starting, I could be one of the many out there that is not taking that step to further their education and even though we will have some $40,000 to pay back for Nick's school, I'm thankful that my parents have made a college fund that will pay for most, if not all of my tuition.
Besides my amazing parents, I have an amazing future husband, that I'd do anything for. He is everything I could want in a person and I am so thankful to God that He brought him into my life at just the right time. I was already down "that" path and it was short lived once Nick arrived. He is so precious to me and everything that he does is for US. I can't wait to marry him and have his babies - that's a big joke with us because when one of his friends showed me to him (over myspace) the first comment that came out of his mouth was "I want her to have my babies." I smile just thinking about that.
We do everything together and we've become each other's shadow. He often comes with me when I nanny and he is so great with the babies. The only thing he does not do is changes the diapers and I am fine with that - I have no doubt that it'll change when we have our own.
I am often amazed at how similar we are - besides looking like we're from the same womb, we enjoy all the same activities and foods. We have the same dreams and aspire to be the same things. We are currently looking at a hunting lease in Greeley that we'd get into with some family/friends and that is just one more spot that we can make memories at.
I just love him, and am so thankful that he's apart of my life. He listens to me whine and complain daily and never does he not want to hear it. He gives me the best advise, even if it is just to not say anything to a certain person or a simple comment such as "you're better than them" is enough. He's my partner in crime and my shadow for life. I love him, love him, love him.
Post #2: Took Long Enough
Its been a good 2 weeks since I last posted anything and for that, I am sorry. I have been running one place to the other and am sleeping very little, which, for those around me, is not their favorite part. So much has been going on that I just can't seem to gather my thoughts. I start school one week from today and am dreding it to its full extent. I mean, I love school, but I've had 3 weeks of summer - the first 2 months were spent in summer school and I'm just starting to enjoy my "free" time.
Note to self: Next summer, don't take 12 credits!
In other news, I've been down a bit. My sister is back to dating her skum-bag boyfriend. They were together for about a year before they broke up a few months ago. He cheated on her (several times) and so she called it quits. But this little persistant prick (pardon my french) won't leave her alone and convinced her that after a year of being unfaithful, he'll finally change. (HA!)
So she's been back with him for a few weeks. I'll interject here with some useful facts about this guy, whom I've grown to hate, yes, hate!
As I said before, they've been together a little over a year and in that time, he's had a girl on the side. He has told my sister that she can't tell him that he can't be friends with her because that's all they are. He has come around the house 3 times in the year they were together and he won't look my dad in the eye.
Besides never coming over, he comes from a lying family. His mom lied to my sister, saying that Christy (the girl on the side) was out of his life and he knew all along that she was still very much involved.
However, now its not ONLY Christy. It's Christy, my sister, and some other girl named Megan - who called my sister to inform her that they skateboard together and "stuff".
So, they've been back together for 3 weeks-ish and she is with him all the time and of course it is never at our house so she's gone all the time.
It really kills me because she is still so immature - she is 18 and acts as if she's 14-16. As selfish as this sounds, I feel like I'm being jipped of my best (girl) friend and my sister because this is the time in life when we're supposed to be really close and it is actually a time that we don't see each other and when we do, we're fighting because she isn't all that nice to be around.
I've been meaning to write when things happen because its such a problem in my life right now but I haven't had the time. I will make the time because I think if I write, it will help more.
I love you Jess - but you sure know how to hurt me.
Note to self: Next summer, don't take 12 credits!
In other news, I've been down a bit. My sister is back to dating her skum-bag boyfriend. They were together for about a year before they broke up a few months ago. He cheated on her (several times) and so she called it quits. But this little persistant prick (pardon my french) won't leave her alone and convinced her that after a year of being unfaithful, he'll finally change. (HA!)
So she's been back with him for a few weeks. I'll interject here with some useful facts about this guy, whom I've grown to hate, yes, hate!
As I said before, they've been together a little over a year and in that time, he's had a girl on the side. He has told my sister that she can't tell him that he can't be friends with her because that's all they are. He has come around the house 3 times in the year they were together and he won't look my dad in the eye.
Besides never coming over, he comes from a lying family. His mom lied to my sister, saying that Christy (the girl on the side) was out of his life and he knew all along that she was still very much involved.
However, now its not ONLY Christy. It's Christy, my sister, and some other girl named Megan - who called my sister to inform her that they skateboard together and "stuff".
So, they've been back together for 3 weeks-ish and she is with him all the time and of course it is never at our house so she's gone all the time.
It really kills me because she is still so immature - she is 18 and acts as if she's 14-16. As selfish as this sounds, I feel like I'm being jipped of my best (girl) friend and my sister because this is the time in life when we're supposed to be really close and it is actually a time that we don't see each other and when we do, we're fighting because she isn't all that nice to be around.
I've been meaning to write when things happen because its such a problem in my life right now but I haven't had the time. I will make the time because I think if I write, it will help more.
I love you Jess - but you sure know how to hurt me.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
My First Post
So since this is my first post, I guess I should tell you a little about myself. I am a sophomore in College where I'm getting my degree in Human Development and a minor (actually a licensure) in Elementary Education. I dream to be a fifth grade teacher and eventually a principal. Right now I am a nanny for a couple families and I really enjoy it. It is nice to have some control over the times I work and what I am paid. What can I say, I just love kids.
I can truly say that I have the life I've always wanted:
I will eventually marry the perfect guy, whom I've been with for the past 3.5 years. We're perfect together - we share all the same likes and dislikes, and we even look similar. We get asked often if we're "boyfriend and girlfriend" or "brother and sister" - Weird but it makes us laugh every time. In June of 2007, we received our "baby." A yellow lab "baby" that is. Caia was our best buddy, she went everywhere with us and was our third in our "Three Amigos". She was diagnosed with Leukemia in May of 2009 and passed on July 18, 2009. I can't believe she is no longer with us. She was such a vital part in our lives and relationship in only the 2 years we got with her and I am still very emotional about it. (I'm sure you'll real MUCH more about this as I sort out my feelings)
I have an amazing family too. I have 2 amazing parents, whom do everything for us. My parents are such amazing people and have become more of "friends" than parents as I grow (Which I am so thankful for)
The Us (in that previous sentence) = My sister and I. My sister and I have a love/hate relationship, which has recently sided heavily on the love side. She is such a strong person and always has been. Even though she's 18 months younger than I, she is so much different and I love that. We are on the same campus and this semester we are going on the same days - Yay!
It's pretty evident that I love my life and everyday throws new opportunities - its those decisions that we make that makes the most out of each one.
I can truly say that I have the life I've always wanted:
I will eventually marry the perfect guy, whom I've been with for the past 3.5 years. We're perfect together - we share all the same likes and dislikes, and we even look similar. We get asked often if we're "boyfriend and girlfriend" or "brother and sister" - Weird but it makes us laugh every time. In June of 2007, we received our "baby." A yellow lab "baby" that is. Caia was our best buddy, she went everywhere with us and was our third in our "Three Amigos". She was diagnosed with Leukemia in May of 2009 and passed on July 18, 2009. I can't believe she is no longer with us. She was such a vital part in our lives and relationship in only the 2 years we got with her and I am still very emotional about it. (I'm sure you'll real MUCH more about this as I sort out my feelings)
I have an amazing family too. I have 2 amazing parents, whom do everything for us. My parents are such amazing people and have become more of "friends" than parents as I grow (Which I am so thankful for)
The Us (in that previous sentence) = My sister and I. My sister and I have a love/hate relationship, which has recently sided heavily on the love side. She is such a strong person and always has been. Even though she's 18 months younger than I, she is so much different and I love that. We are on the same campus and this semester we are going on the same days - Yay!
It's pretty evident that I love my life and everyday throws new opportunities - its those decisions that we make that makes the most out of each one.
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